Sam is eight months old!

Sweet Sam turned 8 months old yesterday. It was not a fun day though because he was sick. All the stuff going around hit our home on Thursday and went from Jacob to Sam within a few days. Hoping the rest of us stay well and they are 100% soon. Sickness is no fun. It is hard to imagine how fast time has gone since his birth. We were talking about the fact that in 4 months it would be his 1st birthday and wondered what he will be like and how special that will be. So thankful we will be able to recover for a few weeks after the holidays before we celebrate his special day.

My mommy heart smiles...

Motherhood....so much that goes along with that topic. Honestly it is overwelming to me on many fronts. However the good part of that is that I am constantly reminded to give my children over to the Lord and remind myself that they are His. How can I love something that is so incredibly draining???

I was thinking about those sweet moments and little things said that bless my heart. They are a treasure and something I tuck aside that helps bring me encouragement during those other moments.

Yesterday my almost grown Andrew (17) shared with me about his fundraiser at school. They had raised $80,000 for a new playground and to update their computers. They had a walk to celebrate and mark the moment of giving thanks to the Lord. They had the senior school pair up with a young child. He was paired with a 5 year old little boy that wanted to talk to him and hold his hand the whole time. Andrew told me all the sweet and funny things the boys said and we had a nice laugh. Andrew asked him if he had a Gameboy and the boy said no but I have a Grandma and a Grandpa! That made us laugh. It encouraged my heart and made me smile to hear him share about his day.

Jacob (12) likes a few minutes of downtime to help him relax. I was letting him have that last night. The John and Kate show is one that in the past he likes to watch however when I turned on what I had recordred he said, "they don't deserve to have a show anymore." While it sounds pretty straight forward and not very gracious I agree with him. While Jon and Kate are sinners just like us saved by grace they need to get their home in order and focus on what matters. When my husband left and our home was in shambles it was a painful time filled with tremendous growth (PTL!) and a time of grieving for our family. We did watch the show and I have to say that it is very revealing to hear what they both say. It reveals their hearts and that is indeed what our words do.

One thing that I love hearing with Sam (8 months) is his first morning chatter. It often sounds like a boy wanting to be heard and remind us of his strength. If I don't get him soon enough it goes into a cry. But that first morning voice always makes me hope for the future that he uses it in life! That he speaks the truth and uses the gift placed in him. We see a bit of a feisty side to Sam and a side that says hear me roar! Praise God he has a huge sweet and mild side too!

Baby kisses....

I was a young mom with my other children. When I hear people talk about young moms not being good moms or not valuing motherhood because of their age I can't relate to it. In my first marriage we waited 3 years to have a baby. A dear friend of mine has often said that Andrew was the most wanted baby he had ever seen. He was indeed! I love motherhood, embraced it and we celebrated and loved each and every stage.

Several years ago I yearned for those years back. Not to re-do because I was full of regret but honestly I have said before that if I had one wish I would want to go back in time and have Andrew and Jacob for babies and toddlers for a few days! I don't get to do that. I do value and love the seasons that I have with them now but I have to say they are not as sweet and cuddly.

I have had the amazing gift of having another baby later in life. I am trying to freeze in time those cuddle moments, mommy kisses and falling asleep in my arms gifts. I have a handful of precious memories that I hope to keep near and dear in my heart that I think only come with a new life. I am forever grateful for the gift and the precious lives that have been placed in my care.

Relationship....

It really is so sweet that Jacob and Sam get to have so much time together. I know that Sam is close with both the boys but you do gain something from having quantity of time with someone. I know that they both learn from one another and influence one another.

Recently I have been reminded many times about influence. I have stood in shock of how many times in the past several years that I heard Christians give unbiblical counsel. These are not gray areas that come down to you choosing what the Lord wants for your and your family but clearly laid out words from our Savior for His children. Lovingly provided for us for our protection from our perfect Savior as we walk through this imperfect world. It has made me very careful, prayerful and mindful of what I am apart of and tune into. I know that I am imperfect and it is my desire to obey the Lord and walk the narrow road. My concern is for those in leadership that have fallen into the trap of being wise in their own eyes and don't fully turn to the Lords word for counsel. Lord help us! I am so grateful that the Lord has been gracious and faithful in placing in safe places where His word is truth and used as our compass.

Our sweet Sam

I took these today and wanted to post recent pictures of Sam. He will be 7 months in just a couple of days. He is crawling, sitting up, pulling up and very vocal! He is such a delight. God is so good and we delight in all our sons and how sweet it is to have a baby in our home.

Not taking the time....

There have been so many times lately that I have wanted to post. Times that I thought OK that is blog worthy! Than life would happen and time would past and nothing would happen.

This year when we left Pine Cove I had several thing on my heart. I asked Trae if we could sit and talk a few days after we got home as I had many things that I felt I needed to share. I thought for sure he had a list of things too! He didn't! I was shocked but than my sister reminded me that maybe his list was blank because mine was many. I am always thankful for another perspective as I think everyone has blind spots and the Lord often allows others to help reveal those and He is His own ways refine those.

We sat down and he listened and listened and I spoke about what was on my heart. I pushed back the lies that try to rob from me. One of the lies that I have had to deal with in the past was that I was too much. Basically I was too much work and not worth it. I am so grateful that my husband doesn't think that or make me feel that way.

Right now I am still walking out the things the Lord has placed on my heart. Grateful for a husband that walks with me. Knowing I am blessed beyond measure from a Lord that loves me and thankful for beautiful people the Lord has placed in my life.

I promise I won't go 2 months between post again! Thank you for your sweet nudge Sonja. I have felt so much like the Lord is stirring things and so many days I thought now how do I get that into print?!

Words that echo in my heart.....

The other day while driving and praying the Lord put 8 words on my heart. What happens when you say yes to God.....when I thought about it I was reminded that I believe I saw a book title with those words in it recently. But the Lord reminded me to think of it personally in my life. I couldn't help but think of our precious Sam. When we dated (for 2 years) I told Trae that I was done having kids. But in 08....we said yes to God. Really even our marriage is both of us saying yes to God. I sat there driving so grateful that I said yes to God and wondered what in the future would the Lord woo me to say yes to Him. Often times in my flesh I have my idea, my plan and my desire. Lord help me to want to be more like you and to be sensitive to your desire for my life.

Jer. 29:11 For I know the plan I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.