Wide awake....

Do you ever have those times that you should be sleeping but you are wide awake and you don't know why? Well I do and this is one of those. It is not often that I wake up at 4:30 on a Saturday but today did. I know I have a lot on my mind with Jacob leaving for camping and still having to do packing for him, care packages, medicines, etc. I am excited for him! We always say Pine Cove is the best place on this planet! It is just magical, fun and filled with the heart of Christ. I have done my wash for it, bought the care package items and now I just need to write the letters and assemble his suitcase. We go to Family camp each summer and Jacob loves it. However this is a week of camp there without the rest of the family. It will be a stretch for him as he is going and doesn't know a soul. He went to our churches kids camp last year and loved it but of course he was surrounded by friends that are like family and he did wonderful. Jacob is a wee bit nervous about going but I think he will be fine once we get there. So maybe that is what has me up at this early hour. I have decided to try and get some work done as I know I will need to nap later. I can rise early but that usually means I can't make it through the day without a nap! Often times the Lord speaks to me in the night or early morning. So when I wake during those times I am very sensitive. Listening, wondering if he has a purpose in stirring me so early. If you think of my sweet Jacob this week please pray for him. My heart for him this week his knowing more of the love of Christ for Him in a real way, that he be embraced by his roommates and peers and after all I am a mama so for his safety too! Plus, that he gets enough sunscreen and water.

Old treasures!

The older I get (I am only 38!) the more I value old things. I have always loved photographs and my sweet mom has been gathering many, decades of photos and doing family tree research too. The picture above is my great grandmother on my moms side. I just love old photos. If the Lord doesn't call us home I am reminded what treasures the photos will be that we are taking. I tend to look at the old photos and wonder what there life was like. Did they have a spat that day (portrait days can be stress!) or was she weary from caring for her home and family? Did they have enough food that week? Treasure your old photos and find ways to display them in your home. I know I want to get many copies from some of my moms recent treasures.

My Favorite Things.

Last year when I was visiting a friend I saw a beautiful piece that I just LOVED!!! It was a display plate that said Serve the Lord with Gladness. Last year I felt like that was the area that the Lord had been speaking in my heart. As a mom and wife serving is a *key* part of my role. Sometimes I do it with gladness and well sometimes not. I thought this piece would be a beautiful reminder. Than I found the lovely tea cup that brings out the blue patina in the plate too. It reminds me to find the beauty daily as I go about my day.

Letting go.

I find letting go hard. I tend to hang on. I must be more of a hanger than a letting go person. Sometimes people try to classify this trait as a negative thing. I think it has both sides. I heard once when we hold onto something with a very tight grasp it makes the tearing out of our lives hurt a lot more. Boy could I relate to that. Yet, in a disposable society I find that giving up and moving on is becoming more and more the norm. Christ loves us with a forever love. It is limitless. That is where the wisdom comes in. There are things we must give up and let go of. It is for our best. Several years ago the Lord placed a mentor in my life that I will forever be grateful for. Margie used to say you have to know when to hold em and know when to fold em! Yep, she store Kenny's line but man that truth has stuck with me. Lord help me to know what to hold onto and what to let go of. Give me the wisdom to know.

Stand up and be counted.

I had a dream last night. A jolting dream. It was the end times and I was stuck in Dallas. I had to walk home. I wasn't with my husband or children. It was very overwhelming. Jacob talks about death a lot. He isn't sure why we all just can't go to heaven now. Many days he says...lets just go. All morning I have heard the words *stand up and be counted* ringing in my spirit.

Sweet potatoes fries!

I made my sweet potato fries this evening. They are a something I make 2-3 times a month and I love them. I pair them with a ketchup that doesn't have sugar and often a bunless burger with lowfat cheese. So yummy and cheap! Trae loves em and so does Jacob. Andrew prefers Great Value tator tots instead. A friend of mine said that she steams hers and loves them but I really likes the baked texture and it kind of takes the place of the tradional freedom fries I had for so many years.

But this is so much more fun!

OK, I know I am supposed to be off doing paperwork but I was sitting here thinking of a recent funny and I had to share this and would love to hear how you make your husband laugh too! I had shared with Trae recently that I wanted to start buying farm fresh eggs and grass fed, hormone free beef. He said sure if that is what you would like. I shared with him the cost difference and the health benefits and he was sold. Now here is the funny part....I told him that I had researched it and although we are not able to have roosters at our home according to ordinance we are allowed to house chickens! I am still laughing about it now when I type! My husband is a pleaser at heart. He will tell me no but he loves so much more to say sure. Trae grew up partly on a farm. He knows the mess of chickens and he just looked at me with disbelief but I kept a straight face. He then said you know I don't think so. Then I couldn't help but to laugh and I let it out! I LOVE to make him laugh. My sisters marriage advice once was to laugh as often as possible. We could improve on it but I am trying! OK, of to my paperwork and sweet potato fries! Think how many years I missed out on those yummy things!!!

A fun end of the day!

Trae took the boys up to our neighborhood pool. Jacob swam yesterday at our friends graduation party we went too but Trae being the fun person he is said lets go try out our pool. We have lived here about 9 months and haven't tried it out yet. I had no idea it opened 3 weeks ago! I am here and will be fixing dinner soon. I am supposed to be in working on some paperwork but I had so much fun changing the colors on my blog! I recently painted a small bathroom a light blue (although it is a tad brighter than I had planned) and so I went with the blue family again. I have a love for the color blue. Actually the older I have gotten the more I am drawn to the colors most often found in nature. Blue, khaki, green and brown are my favorite. Ok if I hurry I can't jump on that paperwork before the boys return.

A unholiday day.

Today is Memorial Day! One of great importance however we are not doing the typical holiday fare. We had a very busy weekend and today is a day to rest and get some things accomplished. Andrew has to work today too. Jacob had therapy and if we are lucky we might grill out. I just had a banana and some dark chocolate for a snack which is a sign of wanting indulgence. Those things are rich and sweet to me. Sweet potato fries are on the menu for this evening too! I am not sure what the rest of the day holds however I am just so grateful to be home, be cool and be surrounded by those I love. And I was down another lb this morning! That makes 45 lbs this year and 135 since 2003! Yippeeee!!!

Basking in His blessings!

Life is good. We wrote that in the sand on a recent getaway Trae and I went on. We are blessed beyond measure. If someone had told me 2.5 years how good things would be I would have been giddy. Yet there are many things in my life and heart that wouldn't be where they were if I hadn't gone through the valley. I am so grateful that God does give me the desires of my heart however he almost always takes a different route than I would have planned. His ways are higher than mine and I am in awe of Him.

TGIF!!!

May has been busy. A little too busy. Good things...just too many good things. We are about to start a holiday weekend. We have Andrews awards ceremony this evening and than on Sunday afternoon Andrews band is play at his schools graduation. That evening we are stopping by to celebrate with friends daughter who is graduating. I have a feeling we will blink and we will be doing the same for our Andrew.

I hit the gym this morning and was pleased to see I was down 44 lbs since the first of this year. Thank you Lord!!! I hit the treadmill with a little bounce in my step. I am loving my Ipod while I workout. Praise and worship music and podcast really help the time pass!

The enemy has whispered many times that I will not be successful in losing weight. Praise God I recognize that it is a lie and that daily I can choose to make better choices and Gods grace and power is enough. It hit me this morning that baby or not I could very likely be hitting my plastic surgery journey in about 2 years, give or take a few months. I often like to day dream what I would do first! My mom did her tummy and arms at the same time and then her legs. Sounds good to me!!! It is so fun to think about what that will be like. I can tell I am getting more saggy. I plan on doing at least a lift on the top area too. If there is nothing left I might have to add something but hopefully a lift will do. If God says no to more children than it could be sooner. I am trusting him fully!

Have a blessed weekend! Walk in freedom and let it be seen!

Finishing up swim lessons!

Jacob has been taking swim lessons the last 2 weeks. It has been wonderful! I was very surprised to see that he retained his skills from last year and is progressing nicely this year. Both my boys have always loved water and I am thankful! He is most proud of learning how to do a handstand. That wasn't part of the lesson plans but something he practiced when it was the other child's turn. We were very blessed that there was only one child in his class. It was the perfect class for him. Tomorrow is his last day and his dad is going to try and go so he can see him.

What am I thinking....

I saw this on a blog and liked it. I am going to copy it.

When I look out the window I see.....a small backyard, a deck that I am so grateful was done for us and new home being built that I am really happy is a one story.

The last thing that I thought last night when I feel asleep was....where is my flashlight?! I put it on my nightstand but it rarely stays there. Is it to much for mom to have her own cheapo flashlight?

The first thing I thought this morning was....praying, praying and more praying. Then it was my 10 year old crawling into bed and both of us wishing for the day off.

If I could snap my fingers....my house would be painted, organized, decorated and clean.

I am hoping....to have a date night with my hubby tomorrow evening. We have a free evening and I think it is calling for great conversation and Mexican food!

I can hear the sound....of my son doing PT with his therapist. Thank you Lord! And I can barely hear my husband in the background on a business call! Thank you Lord! I love it when he can work from home.

Today I am grateful for....the Lord setting me from my addiction to sugar and carbs. I lived for so long in bondage that I don't ever get weary of voicing my praise!

I wish that I could....grill better! I want to possibly attempt that more this summer. Ugh, what am I nuts! I live in TX. 100 degrees is hot enough without the heat from the grill. My husband loves doing it.

Something new....I learned recently that I love sauteed squash. So very yummy! I have eaten it twice this week. My husband said it was fine to start buying farm fresh eggs and organic beef. I was pleased to see that Costco sold organic beef. It was a wee bit cheaper than the farm I found. It was $12 for 3 lbs and the farm was $5 a lb. I want to make him a blue cheese burger with it this weekend! He loves that a good burger.

One of those days....

Ever have one of those days that you would never want to repeat? Well mine was today. So thankful for God grace and that his mercies are new every morning. I need it. The truth is that I do need it daily but some days I feel like I need an extra dose. He is always enough. Night.

My Favorite Things!

If I were really computer savy I would have a picture of everything on my list but for now I don't know how to do that! So my words will have to do.

1. Burts Bees lip balm. Love the stuff! The yellow basic tube is my favorite.

2. Books! There is nothing better than finding a great book new or used. Finding it at a yard sale is even better!

3. Triscuit thin crisp....with cheese on it. So very yummy with grapes or apples.

4. Homemade almond bark that is on my healthy eating plan. I take very dark chocolate and coarsely chop almonds. I melt the chocolate and combine and chill about a hour. Then coarsely chop the bark and put in a baggie and keep in fridge at all times. So very yummy!

5. Tote bags! Yes, call me a nerd but I love a good tote bag.

6. Crosses for our home. We are wanting to have a cross wall in our dining room and I am on the look out for beautiful crosses.

7. Cooking with fresh herbs! Thanks Karen for my new lovely addition! Fresh herbs make such a difference.

8. Foodsaver....I love my foodsaver! It probably is because I am frugal and love to freeze items vs. having them go to waste. It keeps everything for so much longer.

9. Terra sweet potato chips! You can't imagine how thankful I am for these. It makes lunch and going to Mexican restaurants so wonderful!

10. Praise and worship music is something we have in our home and I love a great praise and worship CD. I am so thankful that my husband does too.

Do you have any favorite things that I would need to know about?!

What a difference a year makes!

This is Andrew one year ago! He had just turned 15 and look at those curls! I loved his hair when it curled however it only did that after sweating! If he wasn't playing ball or working out he would brush it straight and it was not as cute. The above picture is Andrew a week ago. He was trying to pose seriously but he kept laughing. The other changes in his life are a job, driving and a special young lady in his life.

It makes me think about what is different in my life. Honestly, the last year has brought a incredible amount of changes.

1. We moved! We moved from the home the boys and I had lived in for 15 years. I have never missed it and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Family is what matters not the walls we lived in.

2. Jacob being in school. If someone had told me a year ago that I would be putting him in public school I wouldn't had believed them. The free education came at a very high price and I think we have had our fill.

3. Healthy living! A year ago I was thinking of a solution to my weight issues and the Lord ended up taking me a different route. He took me a deeper route than I was planning. Isn't that the way it usually goes? He set me free!!! I got to the end of myself in this area for the first time in my life. I was done with my ways and wanting what I wanted. It has been very fruitful and I so thankful for his power in this area of my life. I had elevated this area of my life and thought this was beyond help. But he is Lord over everything! I have lost weight and am at the gym 4-5 times a week. I go to the gym because it does feel good and I know it is good for me. There are days I don't want to go but I know that going feels better than not going. Clear as mud???

4. My husbands career. A year ago he had just started his new job. It was a totally new job. He would be managing a territory and also expected to have new sales. He is great at managing but he had never been in sales. Matter of fact at his last job when he tried to move up his boss told him that he wasn't cut out for sales. But my husband pushed through that lie and any fears that caused and took this position. It took him 9 months to land this job and it really appeared as though the Lord had opened the door. Within the last year he has been stretched in many ways but the fruit has been so sweet! He is doing wonderful! His office is 2nd in the nation. Trae has been in the top 5 of the company already (a couple of months ago) and when the CEO of the company was in this week he let him know that he was very pleased with him. I describe Trae right now as being in his sweet spot! That phrase is based on a book by Max Lucado that I read a year or two ago.

5. My sweet Jacob just a year ago lost all of his coverage for his therapy. His OT and ST were gone. He went 5 months without any therapy. It was very challenging. However, the Lord has provided above and beyond what we even asked for! He know has better coverage than ever and has OT, ST and PT! He has 6 sessions a week and the Lord put in place a new PT that is wonderful and the same OT and ST that he had before. They love him and were thrilled to take him back!

Those are the major changes! Lots of em! I wonder what will happen in the next year?

Quotes

I love a good quote!

We can give our kids knowledge but we can't give them motivation. Only God can give them motivation. -Anne Chapman

Great spirits have always been violently oppressed by mediocre minds.- Albert Einstein

Do you have a favorite?

The clouds have cleared!

I feel so much better today! Praise God! It is just like a cloud has cleared. I feel encouraged and lighter. I took the pup to the groomers, made a few business calls and hit the gym. When I was working out this week and feeling blah it felt harder to do my workout. I hated that! But today I even increased my incline to 8! I did it for 4 minutes at the tail end of my workout and it felt good! I did 41 minutes total and really worked up a sweat!

It is so cool here today. Jacob is in the middle of his swim lessons. Praise God it is a very heated pool. His teacher is a toughie but he pays 100% attention to her and he is really doing well. I am so proud for him. God is so good because she normally fills up her classes and has to turn people away so now some people don't even contact her! Jacobs class only has 2 kids in it. Perfect for my son! Bad for the teacher.

His swim lessons remind of something I have to tell myself sometimes. Even this week when I felt that cloudy haze on my emotions and I felt heavy in my spirit. I remind myself that it is sink or swim! I don't want to sink so that means get busy girl and swim! Drowning is not a option!

My summer is about to begin. This is Andrews last full week. Next week he will have finals and be out everyday by noon. I am looking forward to not having the schools schedules, having them home more and focusing on getting some projects done. We also want to hit our neighborhood pool too! This is our a first for us to live in a neighborhood that has one. I am hoping we will meet some friends there.

Ok, I am rambling!

Hump day!

This week just feels a little blah. I am not sure why. Hormones maybe, trying not to stress about summer projects, etc. I really have no reason to stress. My children are thriving and both doing really well. I am married to the most incredible man! He is my blessing! I am the lowest weight I have been since I got married, my husband has already met his quota this month and God has so blessed him with the position he has. There is nothing sweeter than seeing your husband in his sweet spot! When I look at him, where he is at and what the Lord is doing I am reminded how my hubby sowed year after year after year. AND now when his world needs it the most he is reaping! Thank you Lord!!! So why the blahs? I am going to chalk it up to hormones. You know you can't trust those things! So I am choosing to walk upright and try my hardest to brush them off. Not to be fake but to just realize that they don't have a hold on me. I have some wonderful chocolate that my husband gave me recently and I am also chilling some dark chocolate almond bark right now! A little bit of chocolate (South beach safe) is a little piece of fun for me! I was down another pound this morning too. 41 lbs and counting!

The written word that brought a smile to my heart.

My mom is very smart, she knows all about.....me! That was one of the most amazing things my son could ever say to me. The journey with Jacob has been one that I am honored to walk. It has been full of turns and twist. His answer was simple yet profound because it shows his desire to feel connected and known. For a child on the autism spectrum that is huge. It is my privilege and honor to know him. I love the gift he is and he is a joy in our lives! He gave me the best gift that day with his words. On the funny side one of the sentences said, the best gift she has given me.....and Jacob wrote food! It shows his love for food! He loves good food!

40 has never felt so good!

I am down 40 lbs from January! It feels wonderful and the sweetest thing is that I am at the weight I was when I got married. Now that weight isn't my ultimate goal there is something about being down to that weight when you wed!

It is 130lbs down from 2003 in total. I am loving this South Beach lifestyle and it is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I am getting a little bored on the treadmills at the gym but the Ipod my hubby got me for my bday helps a lot. I am enjoying listening to podcast and music while the lbs melt away! I really need to add in other things too. Perhaps this summer while inspire me to do that. So thankful for my gym membership and one so close because the Texas summer will be hitting soon and being outdoors won't be so fun.

I posted a picture taken yesterday of just me! We did Mothers day pictures and I tried to get a few of me by myself. I am starting to warm up to the camera again.

I finally do have a goal weight too! I have a hernia right above my belly button and in order to repair that you really need to be under a certain weight for it to be successful. Plus, not have a pregnancy after that time. So this year I will be dropping the lbs and seeing if the Lord has a child for us in his plan. The hernia repair and tummy tuck will come further in my journey. But I do want this thing fixed eventually.

You know one thing I have noticed is that my hubby doesn't say much about my recent changes. That doesn't bother me per say because I am doing it for me and pats on the back don't do much for me in this area. But then the Lord reminded me that he didn't say much about things when I was gaining weight either. It isn't his focus. His love is not based on appearances. Of course he loves a sexy bride who is healthy and feels good about herself but what a blessing that his love goes deeper than appearance. That man blesses me so much! He is my gift from God!

More Mothers Day photos!

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Happy Mothers Day!

Here are the boys and I at the tail end of our Mothers Day. Jacob can be challenging to photograph in a group so this is our best!

Here are a few more from our day! We celebrated yesterday with my mom and her husband (forget to get the camera out) and today was church and to my favorite barbecue restaurant for lunch! Not many moms chose this spot. I love it! We took pictures and came home and they presented me with my favorite no sugar added truffles and chocolates! So yummy and a delicious treat even for this healthy living gal!

Have a blessed day! I am looking forward to be home, having my hubby hang a ceiling fan, grilling dinner and reading.

PS. Thank you SO much Amy for your help on teaching me to post pictures! Very helpful and I love the cross and the heart behind it. Thank you sweet friend. You are loved!

Mothers Day Eve!

I kid! I know there isn't such a thing! We had a great family day today. We got lots of rest, got things done and had time with one another and my mom and her husband came out for dinner and the evening too. Plus, my husband ran to Walmart for me and anytime I can escape that it is a good thing!

Tomorrow we plan on going to church and than to our favorite barbecue place. It is one of my favorite places to eat and it fits with my healthy living. After that we will just have the afternoon together before my big boy runs off to work. He started working this week and that is different. It is kind of hard not having him around as much. I miss him. I know it is preparing us for this next season.

In closing....I wanted to return to my Mothers day theme. I think one of the other things my mom taught me is to be flexible. I am very grateful that has begun to rub off on me. Earlier in my life I fought it. She would say...what is plan B and she actually had a smile on her face. I was still stuck on wanting what I wanted but she was realizing life changes, desires changes and somethings don't work out as planned and being flexible is an positive trait to possess. I have found it is a very helpful thing to have in life. And the funny thing is that I am already trying to make my children value that trait in life too.

Happy Mothers Day to you!

See mom my stubbornness paid off!!!

I read this quote and loved it! I am the reason my mom owned the book The Strong Willed Child! This evening I was reading and read this quote and it reminded me that my strong will is part of the reason that I succeed just because I don't easily give up.

“The most common trait I have found in all successful people is that they have conquered the temptation to give up.” -Peter Lowe

OK now I have a questin for you!!!

Ok, all you bloggers out there! Can you please tell me how do I add pictures to my blog? Sounds simple doesn't it! But I can't figure it out. HELP! Pretty please!

Exhaled.....

Do you ever hold your breath for something and when you can finally exhale.....it is such a wonderful sweet relief? I found myself there recently with a situation and it is so nice to be able to exhale. Perfect timing too!

OK, back to my mothers day theme! Looks like we will be celebrating Mothers Day on Saturday with everyone. They are coming out to our home and we are fixing dinner. Not sure yet what our menu. I love to plan though so that should be fun! We have been loving the fresh fruit the warmer temps have brought us. Right now we have a fresh pineapple, roma apples, strawberries, blackberries and bananas. So yummy!

Another thing I am so grateful to my mom for is that she taught me that the Lord has to be my everything! God designed us to be in relationship with others ranging from marriage, families or friends, etc. I love being relational with others. That is how I am wired. If my relationship with the Lord is priority and I am seeking him to fill me up and meet my needs than the other relationships are so much richer because I am going to the ultimate source. He is truly the only one who can meet all my needs and yet I have been guilty of looking elsewhere. I am thankful that God designed us to be in relationship with others and most of all with Him. My mom showed me that marriages are a blessing but your husband isn't going to meet all your needs nor should he. That children are a gift from the Lord but they eventually leave and they too are not designed to be your all and all. She taught me that friendships are a blessing but they are imperfect too. When I allow the Lord to by my everything and meet my needs it takes pressure off my other relationships. It allows me to love freely and to receive the love that each person is willing or able to give.

Mothers Day....

In honor of Mothers Day I wanted to write several post thing week of things my mom has taught me. I am very blessed to have the mom I have. She is a gift from God!!!

One of the favorite things my mom taught me is to take time to refill. Moms are typically givers by default! We are told is designed to give. However, without taking time to refill it greatly effects the quality of what we are giving. She taught me to take some time for yourself. She spiritually spent time with the Lord and I have memories of waking to find her on her knees with her head bowed and her bible near. Lord knows I was giving her a few prayer needs! Mom also taught me to take time to rest. I remember her little catnaps many afternoons. We didn't like it as a child but it was for our good. I am sure we got a less weary mama because of it. It also taught us that for a while it wasn't about us. We learned that we would have to tend to ourselves, be quiet and patient so she could refuel.

Thank you mom for teaching me that even moms have limitations and to honor those. Thank you for teaching me that taking time for myself can be a very good thing. I am most grateful!

Just a few words....

We finished up our HWY seminar this weekend and what is on my heart is to just bask for a bit in what the 6 days brought. You know I went through almost 10 years ago. The Lord used that process to change me. Not just a shot in the arm but to forever change me. I remember it very vividly and I have never been the same person. Praise God! It is a huge honor to be a part of this team and process. Thank you Lord!

Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:36

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

Sometimes my blog is sharing my heart, giving updates or maybe just rambling. Hopefully the rambling will be kept to a minimum!

I like to end on a good note so I will start with the bad news. We returned home to a message from Jacobs VP saying that she was mistaken when she told me the make up days for the TAKS test. That it wasn't Wednesday but Thursday and Friday so he will be expected to take it when he returned. I knew I would be the one to break the news to my son. I did and he was not happy. He said I quit! That is it I am finished! But he later changed his mind and faced the day. I told him no stress, their math stinks (I hate their math curriculum) just do the best you can and remember you only have one more month!

I just spoke to my sissy and her knee is going to be fine. Their did x rays and nothing was damaged. The swollen was from something (I can't remember the name) and already has started going down. He told her to use crutches for a little while and take it easy. Not easy for a mom of 6. It will be a good chance for her to be served. I am sure it may stretch the others in her home but that is not a bad thing.

I hit the gym today after dropping off Jacob. I was down 3 more lbs! For a total of 39 since Jan and 129 since 2003!

I am spending the day enjoying being home, tend to getting grocerys and planning a special evening for my hubby and I. Maybe salmon or mahi mahi and salad. Tomorrow we head into weekend #2 of HWY and will be out of pocket for a few days. You know burgers and sweet potato fries sound so yummy too! I will ask my hubby what sounds good to him. I am so thankful he is not picky. Husband #1 was very picky and it zapped the fun out of cooking for fear of it not meeting his likings.

OK, I said I like to end things on a good note and my last sentence wasn't. Maybe that means I am rambling! Enjoy your day!